CPBS to Earn Windfall by Selling Off Showgrounds
In an effort to save money and survive the brutal Goverment cut-backs currently savaging the country, the CPBS announced plans this week to sell off its long-standing Show Grounds in Clifden, a move which will, it is expected, net the organisation somewhere in the region of €1 million. According to officials, the decision to sell the showgrounds was reached during a budget review meeting on Tuesday. After hours of deliberation, it was agreed that the cost of financing the field far outweighed the benefits it provided.
“It is now, when the nation stands on the brink, that we must act decisively, boldly, and without hesitation,” President Power said at a press conference today. “We need to trim the fat – eliminate the unnessecary. What could we do? What could we do away with without adversly impacting upon our members? What could we no longer justify?”
“It was P.J.’s idea,” Power added, “but once he had said it, it just seemed so obvious. The Showgrounds just had to go.”
Finally established as the home of the prestigious August Show in 1947, the venue has since reportedly failed to contribute in any significant way to the advancement of the breed since 1964. Last year alone, approximately €500,000 was poured into the grounds, an amount deemed fiscally unsound considering how few have actually even been there. In fact, the showground’s funding has gone unchecked for so long that many in the CPBS are now unable to recall what purpose the grounds were originally meant to serve.
“I’m sure when it was first introduced the showgrounds seemed like a worthwhile thing to have,” said Tom Mac Lochlainn, of the Society’s Marketing Committee. “But in reality, this whole scheme has been a complete and utter failure. It simply doesn’t work,” he went on, “We’ve been pouring hard-earned money into this outdated relic for far too long. The internet is the way to go. Besides, anytime I’ve seen it, it’s been wet and covered in horse poo.”
Not only has this fecal-laden field cost the Society tens of thousands of euros in misspent funds over the years, but Clifden insiders claim it has also derailed a wide range of other, more worthwhile local programs, from the ill-fated Clifden Winter Olmypic Bid in 1984 to the ‘West’s Awake’ Nuclear Power Scheme of the early ’90′s. Both ventures failed due to all the level ground in the Clifden area being taken up by the CPBS’s Ring Two.
“Even just the space the showgrounds currently occupy could be put to better use,” a local estate agent said, asking not to be named (due to overwhelming coincidence). “There’s the active retirement group crying out for a place to lawn-bowl, and what can Clifden offer them? The Sky Road. Have you ever bowled on the Sky Road? I have, and I lost most of my hair because of it.”
So far, reaction to the cutback has been overwhelmingly positive, with many across the country calling it a long-awaited step toward progress.
Had me going for a second!
You had me in! I thought god lord the CPBS has really gone this time! I tried to find a place in Connemara for the new arena, thought of getig to somewhere else without the conveniences etc especially for the overseas people, then I looked at replies! Good one Mate! You will keep! John T
I have such a pain in my stomach, and have wiped tears of much needed laughter from my face. thank you for making my day.
You’re Welcome!
That was very good one:) LOL
You had me for a second. It was only when I got to the bit about the Winter Olympic bid that I realised that I had been well and truly taken in! Thank you Eamon!
Only then!?!